Swing Shift

In the quest for work-life balance, messaging arrives that says we must sacrifice something in order to have this or we really can have it all (so we must be doing it wrong). In either scenario, an undercurrent of not-quite-getting-it-right flows. The stories we tell ourselves are ones we consciously or unconsciously follow and believe. They’re just stories, though, and they may not be true. They may not even be ours (meaning they were passed on to us).

In this Medium article, a pendulum swings: “it’s this way” and then “wait, it’s this way.” The author makes changes that are lasting and beneficial taking one of these ways into consideration then shifts when another, more beneficial, way is revealed. The author is ready for changes of one kind and then, five years later, for another kind. He is not the same person five years later. None of us are. This isn’t a linear course. It’s a personal one.

We want certainty. That idea feels good, and so what is known feels safe (even if it’s unhealthy). Change is disruptive even when it’s for a good reason (i.e. if I leave work on time thereby taking care of myself, inviting balance - will I get in trouble? Will others judge me?). 

The stories that we’ve been loyally keeping alive may no longer fit. That might feel scary to consider, and, yet, we have the choice to decide what fits and what is ready to be released. This may feel Too Big. A message might surface that says “but if I do that, who will I be?” The gift: you decide. Just like Glinda tells Dorothy, “you had the power all along.”

Real change happens in small steps rather than an overnight, grand gesture. Lasting change happens because we practice something new that then can become incorporated. We challenge “old tapes” with a question like “is that really true?” When we’re ready and willing, the internal dialogue can shift. A small step is needed to start. Look for one to try (like leaving work on time for just one day). Notice your internal dialogue, what you think will happen and what actually does happen. Notice how you feel.

Journal prompts: 

Make a list of what has “always been” and another of “possibilities and desires.” Place them side by side. Do you see some of the same things on both lists? Are you surprised by what made either list? Is there a bridge you can build (brick by brick) between the two? 

Is it possible to consider the idea of a swing shift where you face both lists and decide what stays and what is ready to go? 

Let me know how it goes! I’d love to hear from you.